032 - that's the game

I have a very hard time buying this whole "Oh, that's who he/she is. There's nothing you can do about it and nothing they should do about it, so just accept them for who they are."

I buy it if it is in relation to race, class, ethnicity, sexual orientation, or any other biologically ingrained trait that is impossible to change organically. I don't buy it when it's a characteristic, a path they have thrown themselves down, or just overall something that only requires a slap in the face or on the wrist. I know it's hard to change some things about people and I know I have some of my own faults that I struggle with, but at the same time what makes me obligated to accept someone for who they are with traits that are in essence under their control. I have no obligation to like someone I dislike just cause "that's who they are". I have no obligation to be ok with someone just cause their obnoxious points, their faults, their biases, their prejudices are all "just who they are".

If they make an effort to recognize their problems and fix them, that's fine with me. Work on that. Fix away. It's when they acknowledge their faults and do nothing that really really bothers me. If you know you have an issue, then you do something. You make a visible effort to try, if only to let the rest of the world that you are, in fact, trying to get somewhere with yourself. Don't acknowledge your faults if you see them as faults and then say "Well...there's nothing I can do. Oh well."

I've been thinking a lot about nature vs. nurture today. The idea that we all have these traits and to what extent they are controlled by us and to what extent they are controlled by the uncontrollable. I just really think people need to really evaluate the way they operate in the world and whether or not they are happy with that way.

I'm not entirely happy with myself and I've been working to figure out how I can work out my own issues. I really hope some of my friends can do the same.