012 - fuck.

So I may not be going to the JACL conference. In fact I'm probably not going.

As I signed into my American Airlines account to check into my flight booked for tommorow morning at 5:30, I was stopped and told that flights could only be checked into 24 hours to 1 hour beforehand.

...I was pretty sure that 10:30pm was less than 24 hours before and more that 1. What the hell?

I checked my itinerary again to see what was up...that seemed really weird. Why would it not let me check into a flight that was-

...

Scheduled for the next day.

Fuck.

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

Fuck.

I can't even begin to explain what that felt like. It was like someone had lit a match and was tracing my body with it. It was hot anger and hot fear that went through my body in that one instance. It couldn't be true. It just couldn't. They must have fucked up my reservation or something.

I raced through my inbox trying to find every trace of this reservation, every e-mail giving me the same date and time. Every forwarded itinerary, the same date and time. I'd sent it to two JACL people and neither had e-mailed me back about the botched date.

Why? Just. Why. Why.

Long story short...I don't think I'm going because it'll cost way too much to change the reservation. I'll be arriving halfway through...and as I'm going on a travel grant, I'd feel bad taking the money.

And this would be my only chance to see April this summer.

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It also doesn't help that I'd been looking forward to this for two years. I'd really wanted to go back not only so I can make some more connections but also because the workshops look amazing this year. I was really really interested in talking to more youth members such as myself to get their views on random topics.

But alas. It will not be.

...

I'm so pissed.

You can't understand.

WORDS cannot express how pissed off I am. Ended up in this argument with the parents where I dropped the f-bomb, that's how pissed I am.

...

Fuck.