006 - remind me

I sit in the lobby while everyone moves out of my dorm.

Well.

Most people have already moved out, the traffic is definitely slowing down. Even I've moved out, everything I own in a box to the left and at Mario's place. I only have my backpack, laptop, and thirty dollar Bape hoodie I got last weekend at Santee Alley.

It's weird to leave and it's weird to see everyone leave. There's this certain sense of emotionless sadness and uncertain fear that pervades the building and everyone says their goodbyes sans tears and with not a reluctant detachment from the rooms we've played out our lives in for ten months but rather a confused detachment. How are we supposed to be?

How are we supposed to say goodbye?

In a perfect world, we'll see each other next year. There will be that opportunity to catch up on old times and we'll wave at each other from one bike to another and take classes where (gasp!) half the lecture hall lived on the floor below or in the suite next door.

In a real world, I'll never see half these people again. That isn't necessairily a bad thing and I'm not going to emote about it, but it's just a weird thing to have in the back of your mind, so I've been saying my goodbyes and automatically saying "Oh, I'll see you next year", but...I won't. Most likely. I won't.

But no matter what I say to people as I say goodbye, even if I think that'll be it, it's never really goodbye.

Because I've been bumping into people multiple times all day.